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Didn't know where he should look, he knew where he wanted to look. But he knew that you don't look at a girl in the places you wanted to look at her. At least not blatantly. On the sly if you got the chance, but it was important to not be caught at it. That would only mark you as a pervert. An outsider. Not that he was exactly an insider now. But not exactly out either. He sort of orbited in a no-mans-land, somewhere between the utterly despicable and the barely tolerated.As his thoughts wandered so did he. Not so aimlessly any more. Now he tried to find his way out of this maze. This crisscrossing of streets. These dark, almost black, bodies of heavy buildings. Most windows already dark, curtains tightly drawn, shutting him out from the comfort of knowing that there were other people around him. Shutting him out of their lives.He had walked for more than thirty minutes when he came to a street he thought he recognized. He recognized the name when he saw the street sign on the corner. I hate Thanksgiving so much that fucking the brains out of some strange grubby homeless guy just seems right to me. My psychologist says that I have a "self loathing" issue and that may be so, but I don't really care what he says. It fills a deep down need in me.I only have sex once a year, on Thanksgiving Day, and always with some drunken smelly guy who probably won't even remember who he had sex with by morning. He might not even realize that he had sex at all. But I would know, and I always made sure that they orgasmed and I always rubbed their spunk all over my tits and lick it from my fingers.Self loathing that may be, but it gets me through the coming 12 months until I pluck up the courage to choose another homeless man for my pleasure.This little scenario has gone on year after year and I knew that it would never change. Then last year I had the surprise of my life. One, I might add, was of my own making.I was 41 then and I had to admit that this little Thanksgiving thing of.
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